This pull becomes a destructive compulsion that corrodes the integrity of the relationship.
It replaces respect and compassion with anger and resentment.
You get a snapshot of his or her feelings and thus can be more understanding and empathetic.You’d be much more likely to get a second date if you so chose, correct?While dating is partially about reading the situation and listening to your gut, there are a few things you really need to avoid in the early days to ensure that the process of getting to know this near-stranger and endearing yourself to them goes well. “He’s a director,” I told my friend L., absently fiddling with the lighter in my hand. We went to Club 33 at Disneyland and he treated me to couples massages and pool time at the Four Seasons spa. I was starting to wonder what our relationship would look like when it became a story for four, instead of two. He gave me tennis lessons and I dragged him to yoga class. But my favorite thing was always cuddling on the couch and talking.Some of the spouses simply guessed (e.g.,"Ernie would never use a credit card! Others had to write about a typical day in their partner's life, and then "put themselves in his or her shoes" before predicting (e.g., "Ernie works so hard all day at the bank, and he resents even paying five dollars for lunch; he would never use a credit card.") The result: Those who tried to imagine the other's perspective were less accurate than those who winged it—confirming Epley's real-life experience of giving his dolphin-loving wife a day of caring for the animals at the aquarium, not realizing that, since she'd just had a baby, she would not enjoy the binding, full-body wetsuit.