He tells me that he doesn’t want to have to lower his standards for online dating. I let him know that it’s a burden for these women – and that lots of great guys get lost in the shuffle. Just like a baseball player fails 7 times out of 10, an online dater is going to get a lot more rejection than acceptance. And “The Rules” talks about waiting a week in between conversations to build up anticipation and establish that you’re busy.” I’m paraphrasing, of course. Ask most women what they’re looking for and you’ll get some version of “a nice guy with a little bit of an edge”. They just don’t want a guy who values himself so little that he has to try so very hard to impress.
The same women he can get in “real life” don’t respond to him online. He reminds me that each letter he writes that goes unanswered is a blow to the ego. Don’t let the process affect you; just be grateful for the potential that it presents. But the gist of it is that all of the experts out there have people believing that the way to forge a happy relationship is by playing games. And everything that you do that is in the least bit calculating is pushing you farther and father from what you claim to want – an authentic relationship where you can be loved and accepted for who you are. They value his ability to be a man, take control, make decisions, speak his mind and march to the beat of his own drum. Because they’ve tried to “nice” their way into women’s hearts and failed, they’re convinced that they have to start being jerks. The confidence that a man projects is the magnetism that draws women. Confidence without kindness describes “bad boys” that smart woman have long ago given up.
if they finish at all." The trope name is a misquote.
There are several supposed sources and original quotes (and ironically one of the people that is often cited as the origin of the quote was a Jerk Ass baseball manager who repeatedly lost to his genuinely kind and Benevolent Boss rival), but the fact that it's a misquote is the only certain thing. Finish last.'" Opposite of Cheaters Never Prosper and Single Woman Seeks Good Man.
The reality is, the desire of a nice person to be wanted is what motivates their behavior.
He will conclude, logically, that since he's such a wonderful nice man, the only reason a girl would reject him is that all women are dumb and would rather date the Jerk Ass. Depending largely on whether or not the character is meant to be shown as likable, others will either sympathize with him or call him out on really not being that much of a nice guy at all.
He said "Takers" look out for themselves while "Givers" bend over backwards to help others.
"Matchers" fit somewhere in the middle, they are willing to help others but can expect to be helped in turn.
Confident men can express vulnerability and caring without seeming weak.
This territory isn’t exclusive to nice guys who finish last.